More truly odd dreams

Yesterday I was exhausted all morning. I have a hard time describing what it feels like. I had no energy. Moving, or even thinking, took a lot of effort. I don't know that I'd describe it as being sleepy. What I really wanted to do was sit or lie down and be able to close my eyes. When I feel like this and I'm able to sit/lie and close my eyes, I go to sleep. Sometimes when I wake-up I feel better, sometimes not.

Lots of coffee is helping me again, today. I made coffee yesterday morning, but forgot to actually add ground coffee to the pot. It took me forever, too, to get it done. I have so much trouble remembering what I'm doing, so I get side tracked easily. It took me until nearly 3:30pm until I made an actual pot of coffee. The difference after just one cup was amazing. It didn't last long, though. By 8 o'clock at night I was ready to sleep, even though I'd had more than a cup of coffee after 5 o'clock.

The odd dreams are still happening, too. I can usually remember them when I wake up, but not for long. This morning while in the waking-up process, I re-fell asleep for what could only have been a second or two and then woke up from one of the odd dreams and had to ask my spouse if he's said something that I'm sure was completely bizarre. He prefaced his next comment with, "This is me, and..." I'm entirely puzzled about where these truly odd dreams are coming from. I'm ready for them to stop, though.

Tired all day yesterday

I kept going most of the day despite being *really* tired. By 1:30 I NEEDED a nap. I only had an hour before we had to leave for the gym. I felt better, though not entirely rested. By the time we got back from the gym, I needed another nap.

I overflowed the sink again, today.

I am passed being sick and tired of not having a short-term memory. Thankfully the sink is a side-by-side, so there was some place for the overflow to go other than on the counter and floor. One of these days, I'm afraid the outcome won't be as harmless.

I've figured out that more than a glass or two of diet Dr. Pepper or iced tea make me feel jittery and generally worse. Diet Mountain Dew doesn't seem to do the same thing, though.

I'm still putting off calling the sleep doctor.

Sunday I had another nap after church, but I was able to stay awake for lunch. I do think there's a connection between adrenaline and needing naps.

Tired Again, Tea Helps

This morning wasn't any easier, but two glasses of rather strong iced tea (minus the ice, of course) have helped. As long as I have something in my stomach, tea seems the best helper for staying awake. I've been fairly productive without the stuttering or being easily overwhelmed, although either could very well happen at any moment given the right circumstances. I feel rather like I'm on the edge. I'm OK now, but too much more and I'm overwhelmed. At least, thus far I've not had that "too much".

No Klonopin Tuesday Night

I ran out and my memory bit me (again).

Wednesday morning, I was terribly sleepy and slept in until 8:30am. I was asleep again by 9:30. I just couldn't keep my eyes open. I napped at least one other time during the day. I was shocked just how tired I felt. I stuttered a lot, too, something that I haven't done very much in at least a month. It seems obvious that the emotional component to the Klonopin is a valuable one. I certainly didn't feel as "bright" as I had in the preceding days. By Wednesday night, I felt nervous and jittery from the caffeine, but my body felt so whipped it was hard to move, or even think. I hate that feeling.

My reaction to Wednesday probably isn't helped by the fact that Tuesday was such a great day. I felt...alive, in every way. If every day was like that.....Wow! Yes, please.

Last night (Wednesday) was filled with lots of odd and disturbing dreams. They weren't nightmares, but definitely disturbing. Many bad things happened and I couldn't seem to have any positive impact on them. According to my spouse, I talked a lot in my sleep. As usual, it wasn't anything that made sense, but given my dreams, lots of talking would fit.

Today (Thursday), I was still very tired despite tea, soda pop, plenty of water, and trying to keep active. I took at least one nap, maybe more. My memory just isn't reliable. Hopefully, tonight will be more restful.

Sunny Day, Good Day

I have no idea whether the sunshine actually has anything to do with it. It seems to brighten my mood, though.

I took the Klonopin late last night, but slept well. I had the bulk of an ice coffee late, so it took me longer than normal to fall asleep. It was probably around 10 minutes, rather than the normal 3-5.

I did drink something different today. I indulged in some iced tea (doh) and that may have been some of the help being awake and energetic. By the time church was over this evening, I was definitely devoid of energy and sleepy.

Tired Yesterday, Tired Today

Yesterday was one of those days when I start to do something and my body just wants to sit down. It doesn't matter where I sit, often it's on the floor of the kitchen, hallway, or wherever. Coffee didn't help, nor did making sure I was hydrated. Food didn't help either. Although my body was tired, my mind wanted stimulation. Still, I could have gone to sleep at any time. I didn't nap during the day, though.

Today's starting out the same way. I'm going on my second hour of being "awake" and my eyes still tend to fuzz-out. My comprehension is definitely much slower than normal. I want to go to back to sleep. Purposeful movement takes great effort at the same time I find some of my muscles are tense. My shoulders, predictably, are tense, but so are my feet and and legs.

Exhausted last night, ok this morning

By the time I made it home from church (7:30pm-ish), I was completely exhausted. Sometime around 9 o'clock, I woke up while the kids were getting to bed. I stayed up much too late, even though I was tired, trying to find some stupid useless information on the Internet. It was almost midnight before I got to bed *and* took the Klonopin. I feel fine this morning, although it took me a long time to become fully awake after the alarm went off at 6 o'clock.

Yesterday was pretty stressful with taking our cats to the veterinarian and finding out that there is likely some serious health problem. Then, we returned home, made sure the cats were settled, ate a quick lunch, headed back out to enroll the kids in activities, go get ice cream because the kids had behaved so well at the vets (a 1.5 hour appointment!), and finally church. It was especially difficult because despite at least a half dozen reminders the day before, and the day of, I still completely forgot about taking the cats to the vet until 20 minutes before the appointment. It takes 25-30 minutes to get there, and we weren't even dressed to go out, and we needed to find the cats and secure them in their cages for transport. Ugh. I hate running late.

Tired Morning

I'm not overly tired, but I'm not awake or well-rested even after getting up, dressing and moving around. It's definitely a coffee day. I took the Klonopin later last night, so that may be part of it. I can't seem to find a way to remember to take the Klonopin earlier in the evening. Remembering isn't exactly something I can do easily; it never has been for things like this, but it's definitely worse now. I find myself chanting things I need to do to remember them. Often I still don't remember them, but occasionally one of my children reminds me. For whatever reason, I can't remember to write things down, or if I do, I forget to refer to them later. My youngest child missed his swimming lessons because I completely forgot I signed him up for them. It's frustrating.

For over a month now, I've been unable to find any Vault Zero at the stores. It did seem to work well to help me be more alert, but not enough for me to drink the sugared version. The result is that I've switched to Diet Mountain Dew and I drink more coffee than before.

Good Morning

Saturday evening, I forgot to take the Klonopin. Sunday morning, it was difficult to wake-up. Sunday night (last night), I did take the Klonopin. This morning waking up was much easier. This is at least the third time the day after forgetting is much better. I'm nearing the end of my first refill, but have yet to call the sleep doctor.

Stabilized?

I seem to have reached an equilibrium. Tired when waking up. Better with a cup or two coffee. Exhausted around 1pm. If I nap, I'm "just overly tired" in the afternoon. Able to make it through the early evening. Thrilled when it's time to sleep for the night.

Recently went on a trip with youngest child. Woke around 7pm. Explored with young one. Asleep by 9 or 9:30pm. Stressed and very tired after three days.

Still not sure if Klonopin is helping.