Waking Up Acting Out My Dreams

What a weird feeling! In my dream I'd be reaching for a book on a shelf and wake up as I raised my hand in the same way. The same thing happened as I dreamed about scritching my cat, and a few other things I can't remember. I don't ever remember doing that before.

I feel pretty good this morning, although when I first awoke I was still very tired. Sunshine helps.

Falling Asleep At the Lunch Table

It's been happening a lot again. Either that, or I lie on the floor and nap.

Spouse is pushing a CPAP. I'm not exactly sure why, but I hate the idea. Part of it is claustrophobia. Part of it is the result of past abuse; things being placed over my face, especially if they effect my breathing, tend to freak me out. Another much less reasonable part is stubborness. Every time I mention my tiredness to a doctor, they immediately go to CPAP.

I read an article somewhere about needing to measure the effort it takes a person to breathe. The theory is if the person has to work too hard to breathe, they'll be tired. Given that Nasonex makes it so much easier to breathe, it seems reasonable to me that this bears at least a bit of consideration.

Sunday Crash

Whether it was accumulated tiredness, stress or something else physical, Sunday was a total loss. I made it to church -- and through church -- but fell asleep on the sofa almost immediately upon getting home. Walking up the stairs to the bedroom required too much energy. Two hours later I was awake, but still tired. Two hours after that I took the kids to choir and was a complete basket case when we arrived home two hours after that. Exhaustion on top of severe anxiety is nasty. I slept a few hours more. By this time it was well into the evening, but I didn't have any trouble sleeping at night.

So, it's Monday. I didn't get a proper afternoon cat nap, but I did doze off while waiting at youngest's ballet practice. I slept a few more minutes on getting home, but there was just too much going on to actually rest until after supper. There'll be no problems sleeping tonight either.

I'm tempted to account the tiredness to personal stress. Family stuff and odd flash-back sort of stuff has been rather disturbing. I look forward to getting that resolved.

The Nasonex is still definitely a help. I've still yet to call the sleep doctor.

Beautiful Sunny Morning

Ah....sunshine. 'Nuf said.

I definitely notice a difference in ease of breathing with Nasonex. It's as if suddenly the volume of air I can easily breathe through my nose is greatly increased. It's that noticeable.

When I was young, I struggled in my early swimming class because I had trouble getting all the air out of my lungs. Breathing out with my nose I just couldn't do it. It was even difficult through my mouth. It seems like they may be/should be connected.

Afternoon Naps

Afternoon naps seem to be a daily necessity. A necessity because without them I'm either too slow to be of any value or too grumpy for anyone to be around me. Today, I slept on the floor in the dining room while the children were eating lunch. As with many of my naps, though I don't remember a lot of it, I could hear what was going on, yet I was asleep. I don't always nap that way, but often in the afternoon, it's the way I nap.

Busy Monday, Busy Tuesday, Wednesday?

Yesterday night found me going to the grocery store. A pot (eight cups) of coffee after 1pm helped me get through the afternoon and evening. No jitters or stomach problems, thankfully. A bit of a headache that likely was dehydration as much as anything.

It was only 7:30pm when I arrived home, but I was exhausted. I was in bed by 8:30pm and would have been asleep by then had I not had problems getting connected to the web so I could answer a very important question. It wasn't until 9:30pm that I was able to get to sleep.

The good news is, I felt good when I woke-up this morning. Actually, I woke-up on my own, without benefit of alarm clock. Hopefully that bodes well for the day. Today's a long one, too. Thursdays I'm usually beat from the late Wednesday evening "stuff".

Memory?

This whole forgetting thing is getting to be too much. I'm ok with forgetting where I am on the expressway. I only drive that route once a week and much of the time it's in the dark. I'm even ok with forgetting where I am in the supermarket. That's why there are signs. Forgetting why I'm at church, with that I'm NOT ok. I went to pick-up the kids from choir Sunday afternoon, but I though I was there to get them from their Wednesday night club. I was the one who took them to choir. Also there had been a fairly involved conversation about whether either child was going to church and the committments involved. So, when I find myself walking down the halls and I'm *certain* I'm there for a completely different reason -- that's NOT ok. That's disturbing.

I'm back to taking at least one nap each day. Sleeping in the recliner helps. Yesterday after about 30 minutes of nap, I still wanted to sleep more, but I needed to fix dinner. I was more mentally capable -- meaning I was able to evaluate the food we have, what I could make for dinner, plan how to accomplish it and then carry off the plan. Most nights I'm not capable of any part of that. Now that I write that down, it's scary. It sounds like a good reason to make a late afternoon nap in the recliner a part of the regular schedule. Being capable of fixing dinner is a good thing.

Working Through the Tired

A nap sounds perfect right about now. It sounds perfect except that I have stuff I want, perhaps even need, to get done. So, I'm working through it and trying to ignore it. The coffee isn't helping much, nor is the Diet Dew. Will power seems to be my best answer.

Odd Sleeps Last Night

Our feline kept waking me up with her loud meowing, but I still felt pretty good when I woke up just after 7:30am. It was delicious to turn off the alarm at 6 o'clock and go back to sleep.

Today I've not been especially tired. Isolating helps. No pressure helps.

Tomorrow is church. I'm usually exhaused by the time we get home in the afternoon.

Naps Abound

As best I can recall, I've taken 2-3 naps for the past few days. They've been anywhere from five or ten minutes to three-quarters of an hour. I've taken to sleeping in the recliner or sitting up on a sofa so I don't get too comfortable and sleep too long. If I lie down, I sleep an hour if not two and still don't feel awake afterward. I usually don't feel all that rested after just a bit of sleep, but it's not as bad as when I sleep longer.

These last few days it's been that my brain, as well as my body, needed some down time. I had no energy, and I simply couldn't think. I'd find myself standing in the kitchen having no idea what needed to be done next to clean up something. I feel that way more than I'd like to admit.

It's been a busy week, but I made it. I kept telling myself I just needed to make it to Friday evening and then I could rest. It helped a lot. I made it.

I can safely say that the Klonopin *is* helping with my mood, but does little, if anything, to help with the sleepiness. So, I *do* need to call the sleep doctor. It's not one of my favourite subjects.

My memory isn't improved, either, with the Klonopin. I forget I poured myself a cup of coffee and put it in the microwave, and remember only after I find it there hours later.

Adrenaline still helps to function. Our precious cat was diagnosed with inoperable cancer and euthanized today. Despite being tired and stressed-out, I was able to hold it together enough to get myself, and my distraught children, through it. A cat nap (in honor of our furry friend) was definitely in order while the children watched an educational television program.

Body spasms have resumed when I relax. They can be anything from an arm or leg to my back which seems to effect my whole torso.

One last thing: Nasonex definitely helps. I can literally feel it enlarge my breathing passages. Breathing is easier after using Nasonex.

Evening Naps

I've started needing a nap around 7pm. If I don't take one, I'm asleep around 8:30pm. Otherwise, I'm asleep between 10 and 11 o'clock at night.

As we enter the school year with more committments, I can feel the tiredness increase. I hadn't anticipated it. Much of the time I have no energy, but can usually push my way through until sometime around 1pm. Then, I'm done; or, at least, I need some down time if not a nap.

Mornings are still hard.